Friday, August 12, 2011

A Day in the Life

So, right now both of my kids are in really trying stages of development. From one I've got the "Mommy, watch this!" stage, and from the other it's the cutting up tiny pieces of food all the time and walking hunched over holding hands as we do laps around the couch. Let me illustrate how these play out.

The scene: It's lunch time. Mom is at the counter preparing food while The Boy and The Girl play in the kitchen.

The Girl: Mommy, watch this!
Mom: [pauses from her task of cutting blueberries into 4ths] Oh, yes. You're just standing there.
The Girl: Yes!
Mom: I'm not sure that's news-worthy.
The Boy: [screams, because, I don't know, he's bored?]
Mom: [walks The Boy from the fridge to the tupperware drawer to play, then continues cutting.]
The Girl: Mommy, watch this!
Mom: [has moved on to chopping tiny pieces of chicken breast, from which she pauses and looks over her shoulder.] Wow, you jumped really high!
The Boy: [screams]
Mom: [picks The Boy up and places him in the high chair, which is greeted with an exuberant demand for food.]
The Girl: Mommy watch this!
Mom: Sorry honey, I can't look right now.
The Girl: Why?
Mom: Because I'm taking care of your brother.
The Girl: Why?
Mom: Because he's hungry and I'm trying to get his lunch ready.
The Girl: Why?
Mom: Because it's lunch time.
The Boy: [angry about the high chair restraints, lodges a vigorous complaint.]
The Girl: Why?
Mom: I've already answered that. Please don't ask "Why?" when you know the answer.

(Oh, did I mention she also asks Why as a knee-jerk reaction to every statement I make. Fun.)

This scene is then repeated 20 million times/day until the blissful hour of 7pm when we lock them in their rooms.

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