Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Do you ever feel like something big is just on the horizon? That is the feeling I have had for a little while now. I am excited, but a bit nervous. It seems like our family is going to have some decisions ahead of us that could shape the foreseeable future. Not sure exactly when it all started. Many of you may know that even though we live in Orange County, we have never wanted to stay. This lifestyle has always been a bit overwhelming, and tempting for us. We have always dreamed of a house somewhere where there are more trees than concrete. Someplace where you see stars at night. Our plan to get there has always been dependent of Kevin making lots of money (actually making the same amount he makes here, which would be lots somewhere else) so we could purchase this dream. But lately I think the Lord is revealing to us that maybe we were just redirecting that same Orange County attitude of acquisition and aiming it somewhere where we could get more for our money. We can't afford to get get get while we live here, so lets go somewhere else so we can have more stuff. And we'll cloak it in this great vision of happy family lives in a house where our kids can run and play; where we spend nights gazing up at the stars and weekends hiking through nature. But really, will anything change? We'll have a bigger house, yes. It will be ours and not rented, yes. But will we really grow at all? I don't know. Maybe our dream should involve less getting. Staying down here and living on a tight budget requires more reliance on God's provision. It cultivates more discipline. It encourages growth. Maybe. I don't know. It's the conversation we're having now. Actually it's one of the conversations we're having now. Big things on the horizon. Maybe.